this just has baby written all over it
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
