wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Randomize
