i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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