do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
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Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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