well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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