well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
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i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
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Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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