Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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