i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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