my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize