Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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