Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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