her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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