I just saw a hot homeless man
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Your penis caused this!
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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