I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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