I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
