Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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