I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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