I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize