Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
my vag is so smooth its legendary
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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