Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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