In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
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