My friends, they love my intelligence
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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