I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
where am i from again
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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