I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
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He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
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Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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