oh god the rape fog is back!
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize