No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
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beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
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You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
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