It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize