I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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