i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize