literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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