I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
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Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
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Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Success! We fucked roommates!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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