For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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