Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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