dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize