Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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