I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize