New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
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I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
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I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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