This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
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i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
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do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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