i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
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do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
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So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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