So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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