The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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