Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize