dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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