Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... ๐ฏ๐๐๐
Do I even want to know?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but donโt worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. Iโm like a hamster.
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