looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
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It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
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I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
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