Only a mothe r could love this liver
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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