Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
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So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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