i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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