just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize