At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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