Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize